Things that make me happy

- In approximately 24 hours, I will be finished with the taught section of my masters, and all I'll have left is my dissertation and 3 months to write it

- Despite ash-clouds and airport closures, my parents have still been able to land in Edinburgh and I should see them in about two hours!

- The beautiful cinematography and equally beautiful cast of The Pacific. Only up to episode five, but ooh, soo good! In a different way from Band of Brothers though, definitely.

Things that make me unhappy

- Less than two weeks of term left and then half my friends (the undergrads) leave. :(

- My Security and Conflict in Africa exam that I wrote on Saturday. I don't think I even knew what the first question was asking. :/

- The academic arguments between structure and agency that I need to have memorised for tomorrow

- Job-seeking and figuring out my life after September is streessssful. I don't wanna be a grown-up yet.

In conclusion:

I HEART baby sloths a whole lot as distraction

To start this post off correctly: This is building on an extremely important discussion going on about a recent spn_j2_bigbang fic that used the recent Haitian earthquake as a backdrop to a love-story between two white characters, with racist caricatures of Haitians and thoughtlessness about the entire history of Haiti and its people. If this is the first you’ve heard about it: please do go and read this round-up post first before contributing to this discussion. In my mind, this is distinct but connected issue related to it and one that comes second to that first discussion linked above.



So last night during my ongoing insomnia (seriously, 3:30 am-5 am, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking, musing, and composing this post in my head, I figured I might as well write it and post it.

*stretches rusty meta-muscles*

So, to start off: questions that come to mind or that have been raised:

- Is it appropriate to use real life tragedy or conflicts in your fanfic?

- Can we (as fans) create stories referencing or situating themselves in locales or situations where there’s been a history of systematic oppression, natural/humanitarian disaster or conflict without reinforcing this system or continuing to hurt other people? How can we achieve this?

- Is fanfic a fundamentally inappropriate or unsuitable vehicle to use for discussing these issues?

To be clear: I want to note the difference between stories like gatorgrrl’s fic and other stories like a Medecins Sans Frontieres post-Haitian earthquake Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto story I’ve just heard about yesterday, or tevere’s Generation Kill AU set in East Timor. In the former case, when you examine the content found in that fic, there’s no excusing the thoughtless racism and privilege. In the latter cases, I think it’s fair to say it’s more of a gray area and one that I’m going to spend the next 3,000 words analyzing.

(Yeah, if you want to go to the bathroom now, or get a snack, I understand)

I’ve come to the tentative conclusion that it is possible write about these issues within fandom. Other people may disagree and I acknowledge and understand their view, particularly in light of the ratio of success vs. failure in previous attempts in dealing with these issues. But I’m uneasy with undertones that seem to me to indicate a knee-jerk reaction in some quarters of this discussion in saying that we should never use fanfic as a vehicle to explore these topics. If fandom has used problematic representations relating to sexuality, race, ability, etc in the past and transformed them positively in instances where that mainstream culture can’t or won’t, I fail to understand why conflict or tragedy cannot be transformed in a similar way.

(As a caveat to this next part: I’ve hesitated whether to posting this paragraph but I think it’s pertinent to understanding how I’m approaching this topic and my views, and my hope is that it's not coming across as an attempt to get the “look – I’m not racist, I understand” pat on the back.)

I’m currently finishing the last part of a Masters degree in Peace and Conflict Studies. I’ve spent this last year reading and researching genocide, mass killings, rape as a tool of war, media and propaganda as a tool to desensitize a population to the point of committing atrocities against their neighbours, racism and colonial legacies, apathy and “othering” from the “West”, the myriad problems associated with the liberal peace tradition and its efficacy in post-conflict countries… I’ve been on research trips to Israel, Palestinian Territories, Bosnia, and Croatia and spoken with people who have lived through these situations. I’ve been constantly challenged on my assumptions, and prejudices and if I’m honest with myself, I’d say I still have a long way to go at times. I’m only reading/studying/researching these topics and my interaction is always going to be from that privileged outsider position.

However, I’ve been told throughout my course, that does not negate or invalidate my ability to interact with these sources but it does inform how I should approach it, if I wish not to be another cog in an unequal global system. I’ve been told countless times that I should be engaging with these topics – but in a way that acknowledges where I come from and my own experience and limitations.

I haven’t been able to participate much in fandom this year but at the same time, I haven’t turned off my fannish brain this year. And in some ways, I’ve turned to fandom for the same things I always have – to flail about hot boys and girls, to enjoy a storyline that push my narrative kink, to talk to fellow fans that understand OMG, that was SO AMAZING, wasn’t it??? *glee* There are days when I want to read about or watch teenage vampires wrestle with modern day life, and con artists pull off impossible hi-jinks. There are days when I want to read about or watch people gleefully blow shit up, backstab each other over petty matters, make stupid choices in love and embarrass themselves so much that I want to crawl under the bed with them and never come out.

But in some ways, my interaction with fandom has changed: there are days where I also want to read or watch the other aspects of human nature: the heart-wrenching decisions people make in times of conflict, of their desire for revenge, of dealing with grief, of dealing with unfair legacies that they never asked for or wanted. Sometimes these situations are occurring in canon locales where there has been tragedy or conflict, others involve characters who in canon have ties to these areas or direct experiences. One of things that I’ve been wrestling with this year is whether I can, or even if I should, use fic ideas that are related to the knowledge I’ve gained this year.

I don’t think you should only write what you know. Sometimes fanfic reflects fantasy situations. Sometimes fanfic reflects real life situations. I don’t think you can privilege one over the other and say, no, there are some situations you should never write about or some places you should never set fic in, and indeed in some cases, I think it’s actually contributing to systemic problems by NOT discussing them or by declaring that these places are off-limits for fandom discussion (as racism and sexism have often been in the past), contributing to further marginalization. But in terms of how you engage with what you don’t know and especially in terms of race, ability, gender issues, etc, there’s a responsibility to make sure you’re not failing or perpetrating the cycle. And if you do fail, you need to acknowledge the hurt you’ve caused and make amends.

But then again, in studying peace and conflict, I’ve come to appreciate the pro-active stance, where you can avoid the conflict before it happens by 1) taking the time to understand what exactly you’re dealing with, 2) acknowledging other views, particular those who are or have been affected by these issues and 3) knowing where you (and your writings/characters) stand in relation to wider context.

It’s not as simple as never writing about PoC in countries outside of North America or setting our locales only in the global North. Or in thinking that it can never be done right. It’s also not as simple as condemning a fic full of racist assumptions (although that's an important step). I think we can respectfully write about these places and issues in ways that acknowledge agency, universal human experience and that break the mold from a normative narrative to a narrative that furthers understanding. It’s not a simple task to do this, and the stakes are high if you fail, but then again, the best stories, the ones that you carry around for days, in my experience are the ones that acknowledge this risk and succeed despite/because of it.

….

As a practical experiment, this last part is basically me testing my conclusion by looking at some of my own recent fic ideas, noting the faily-aspects in them and seeing how I could make them not so faily, looking at what I need to consider if I am going to write a story involving a conflict/disaster narrative. This is also a result of grad school: talk about the theory/lit review and then use case examples to illustrate. Hopefully it works! If people want to talk about their own experiences in addressing this issue, please do! And of course I welcome comments/critiques on any aspects that I may have overlooked.

1) AU fics

To be honest, I think this is where you can get into the most trouble. There are so many details because you’re transplanting an entire canon into a conflict or disaster narrative when it may not had any connection before to it and may have had a wildly different tone. To reconnect these strings all together in a coherent, respectful fashion is going to be difficult because it’s easy to forget details that might not have occurred to you because of your privilege.

Example: I recently watched a documentary called “Shooting Robert King”, (excellent film by the way – definitely recommend) and there’s this one scene (actually, part of it is in the trailer) where the main character immediately reminded me of Ray Person in Generation Kill. And the idea of a War Reporter GK AU jumped into my head.

Ray Person, a recently graduated photographer, who wants to win a Pulitzer by the age of 30 and is just young and cocky enough to think he’s going to get it by photographing the Balkans conflict. But once there, the situation on the ground isn’t exactly what he pictured…

How it could go wrong: Easily. Not bothering to know jack-shit about the conflict/humanitarian disaster you’re sending your characters into, or its effect on the local population. For example: in this War Reporter AU, say I set it in Sarajevo in 1993 and I think it’s important to have a local fixer feature prominently in the narrative, which all foreign reporters typically have while in a war zone. Do I introduce an original character here? What is his or her role in this story? Are they a fully-rounded character, or is their only purpose in the story to be a reactant to the main characters? Alternatively, what if I made Brad the fixer? Then not considering the wider context of who you’re changing in the AU becomes the issue here. Is there a difference between Brad, the Bosniak (nominally Muslim) fixer vs. knowing that Brad is canonically Jewish, and knowing from research that Sarajevo has a small Jewish community, most of whom stayed during the entire siege of the city? But even that has layers to look at: because Brad being Jewish vs. Brad being a Bosniak Muslim is going to inform how I write his character’s motivations. What kind of assumptions or failings am I making if Poke is the fixer? His ethnic background is Hispanic/Native American, am I erasing his identity by assigning one from the Balkans – by choosing a CoC to take on the role of a local instead of another canon white character, what am I indicating here? Is there a way to justify this decision for the narrative?

How it could go right: Asking myself: Is it too soon to use this situation? (hint: if it hasn’t been out of the news cycle yet, it very likely is not the conflict to use.) Asking myself: why have I chosen this conflict/locale? Do I have particular knowledge of this area? Do I have people who have first-hand knowledge who can direct me/advise me f I’m getting things wrong? Also: Research, research, research. It’s easy to bypass endless links of information, and choose instead to go to Wikipedia to get a basic background and then start writing my masterpiece. Avoid this, do research and it’ll save me from embarrassing and potentially faily mistakes.

Where it can go right: See: tevere’s fic Sixteen days in September.

2) Canon situated in a conflict/developing country situation

- One of my requests for Yuletide these last three years has been a Blood Diamond fic. Not an unproblematic source, by any means.

BACKSTORY. FUTURE-FIC. Basically, I'd love anything that extends the storyline of the movie forward or back. In particular, I want to know more about Danny Archer and Maddy Bowen, more than the glimpses we saw in the film. Danny/Maddy is a plus if you move forward in time. I am also totally open to a re-interpretation of the ending in regards to Danny surviving. ;) The only stories I've read about Blood Diamond have been on ff.net, so I'm sure anything you'll come up will be miles better than then Danny/Mary Sue fic I've found so far.

I’m cringing a little at this now, not because it’s a completely horrible prompt but there are many, many pitfalls where a story based around it could go wrong.

How it could go wrong: By being solely the story of Maddie/Danny’s twu luv, and their happily-ever after. Using the trauma of what they’ve been through in Sierra Leone as hurt/comfort while ignoring the wide socio-political implications (which the film itself highlights) of the region and their own actions there. Completely ignoring Solomon and his family’s part of in their story. Using Solomon only as tragic figure or stand-in for the entire conflict.

How it could go right: By not ignoring Danny’s background as a white Zimbabwean and the racist legacy it contains. By taking the time to examine Maddie’s motivations for coming to Africa in the first place. By integrating Solomon into the story without using racist stereotypes and making sure he has agency of his own. By furthering the relationship between Solomon, Danny and Maddie. By not backgrounding the entirety of the conflict in Sierra Leone, Liberia, Ivory Coast or ignoring the role external intervention/outside powers played their part in contributing to the conflict. By having Maddie and Danny interact with local actors who don’t necessarily see them as altruistic heroes.

Generation Kill is another good example where I think it’s important to look at the overall picture when considering writing in the fandom. To be honest a lot of GK fic, especially Brad/Nate stories set in Iraq that background a lot of the dynamics found in the mini-series in favour of teh porn don’t interest me and strike me as slightly problematic. However, those are my own views and as long as these stories don’t have out and out racist/colonial bullshit being advanced in the story, people are free to write what they like, and I’m free to not read them.*

*On that note of Generation Kill, I’m also going to take a moment to mourn the lack of Tony “Poke” Espera fics. I get that he might be a bit difficult to write but he’s an awesome character! Also, there used to be a few Walt/Gabe stories and those seem to have been completely overtaken by Ray/Walt. Yes, Brad, Nate, Ray and Walt are awesome (white) characters BUT. Where’s the love for Gabe, Espera, Rudy, and other CoC in the cast? Are they not equally awesome?

3) Characters with problematic back-stories

Specifically, I’m thinking of the television spy genre in this case but it can apply to others, definitely. I adore Burn Notice as a frothy eye-candy and escape show. I enjoy Fi as a character but there’s been always something about her backstory that’s bothered me. It wasn’t until a discussion in class one day where we discussed the IRA and a friend from N. Ireland made the point that he’s sick of how the IRA has been treated in pop culture these last few years, saying that members of the IRA, real or fictional, have been legitimized in fiction lately and assigned a narrative that plays down/reduces the harm they’ve caused in the conflict in the region.

See, in Burn Notice, Fiona is ex-IRA, a bomb-maker and weapons expert. Now, that doesn’t automatically make her an irredeemable, evil character, not in the least, and there’s been enough characterization that she’s not presented as Miss-Goody-Two-Shoes either and she’s often presented as amoral compared to Michael and Sam. Still, she’s presented as being on the “good side”. But, if you know anything about the history of the IRA and how they used explosives/bombs in their campaigns, you might blanch a bit at Fi’s cavalier attitude to explosives and wonder about how she used to use her expertise in the past. As the show is on USA, set in Miami and frequently doesn’t really register on the ‘reality scale’, Fi’s IRA background is really just skimmed over. Now, just because it’s skimmed over on the show, doesn’t mean that you can’t explore it in fanfic. I think you can explore similar stuff with Michael’s background too. And Sam’s, for that matter.

Example: I have a half-started fic called “Five Wounds that almost Killed Michael Westen and One that Didn’t”, which is backstory for Michael and has him in Afghanistan, West Africa and Colombia. I have a ficlet about Fi, before she met Michael, dealing with her motivation for joining the IRA and why she was drawn to explosives. There’s any small ways these fics could go off the rails but again research and appropriate gravity to the subject matter should avoid most of them.

Leverage Not so bad as BN but there’s been times when there are throw-away mentions about Eliot’s background and I’m like… ooh, I want that story about how he was in Serbia. Hardison mentions hinky times in Pakistan – Eliot was there in Pakistan, what was he doing? Yes, in the context of the show perhaps it darkens the tone to go into that much detail, but again, it’s canonically part of the character’s background and fanfic is meant for this kind of background story, y/n?

Oh, here, I also want to note that we as fans don't have to go into a character's background in every story and make it heavy but if we choose to do so: know what you're talking about.

NBC’s Chuck is actually where I’ve just gone: Oh. Oh no. They didn’t. They did. *cringe* In terms of Casey’s background, where he’s been in charge of/participated in a few Central and South American coups for the NSA. Now, you can write a Chuck fic in a darker vein that addresses these issues but for me… I’m not sure I could or would want to do that. So… sometimes I pretend it’s in an alternate reality where there was a lot less horrible fallout from those scenarios.

4) Using sci-fi/fantasy milieus to create parallels to real scenarios

Possibly the most popular option in terms of addressing serious issues, with mainstream fantasy/sci-fi ie. Battlestar Galactica, Caprica, Heroes, True Blood, etc all attempting to do this, with varying degrees of success. There have been many successful fanfics that have done this as well. Still, pitfalls to avoid: cheap tactics like having the characters talk about the issue from a racist/clueless POV – looking at you, True Blood. Also, if you’re bringing up issues such as genocide, it’s important that your fic not treat them flippantly and your characters understand the gravity of the situation. Genocide is still genocide, even when it is robots (Cylons) committing it against humans, which is why the tone of BSG isn’t quite the same as… Stargate Atlantis, for instance.

Example: Last summer, I was bingeing on new Star Trek fics. I was also starting my course’s reading list, reading about the history of UN peacekeeping, and the successive generations of conflict resolution, and how it changed and evolved over the years. Sometime in July, between reading about Cold War politics affecting peacekeeping missions, and the failure of UN troops in Srebenica and Rwanda, I made the connection of: “Oh, so Star Trek is nominally an allegory for the Cold War. And the Federation could equal the fictional equivalent of the UN." Given that the most recent film actually involves a genocide, I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to put the crew of the U.S.S Enterprise in a situation where they have to respond to another situation like it in terms of acting to prevent the murder of millions of people. But what if they were constrained this time by politics, such as a truce between the Klingons and the Federation? How would Kirk, Spock, Uhura and the rest of the crew react? Would they break the truce, or do they follow the rules of the Federation? I have about 7,000 words of that story, beta-read and everything but I’ve set it aside for quite a few months and re-reading it now… okay, I completely forgot to incorporate any POV in my fic from the people/species who are about to be wiped out. Yikes, MAJOR FAIL for what I want to say with this fic. *facepalm* Although because this fic is set in a fictional universe, I could probably get away with not writing their POV without anyone calling me on it. But that’s not the point, anyway… so, need to fix that aspect if I post this fic.

Frig, this went LONG. Um, thanks for making it this far though. Thoughts, comments, criticisms?

Status of dissertation: 3,000/15,000 words
Days until dissertation is due: 27

Hours of television watched in the past two days: 8 1/2 hrs, or the whole first season of Community

Shows I have started watched since September: 15
- Burn Notice
- Sons of Anarchy
- White Collar
- Being Human
- Weeds
- Band of Brothers
- The Pacific
- Bloodletting and Miraculous Cures
- Spartacus
- Justified
- Dance Academy (Australian teen show)
- Glee (but only half the season)
- Vampire Diaries
- Community
- Misfits

Continued shows: 8
- Skins, Merlin, Leverage, Doctor Who, Chuck, True Blood, Greek, Gossip Girl

Conclusion: Not sure whether to feel accomplished or worried I'm addicted

Also: 27 days to figure the next step after my masters degree :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/

4 a.m. and I've just sent my supervisor the draft for my lit review/theory portion of my dissertation.

6,000/15,000

As a reward I'm going to sleep go look at posts of Tom Hardy and his camwhore days. He's embarrassingly captivating. *chinhands*

Yeah, my dignity is around here somewhere... but whatevs, more than a third of the way done!!

Happy Easter to those who celebrate! And to everyone else- happy Sunday/Monday! It's been an absolutely beautiful 20+ degree weather this week in London (heh, back in Canada they had snow) and I spent most of this afternoon on a rooftop garden after being stuffed full of delicious food. Also, way too many chocolate eggs.

I was going to post a couple of pretty London photos... and just realised that I have none, as my camera broke last week and I haven't managed to get the photos off the memory card yet. So, in the meantime - how about a London photo plus a few other pretty pictures?


View from Waterloo Bridge


Outside Gazi Husrev-Beg Mosque, Sarajevo


Butmir, outskirts of Sarajevo


Latin Bridge (site of Archduke Ferndinand's assassination), Sarajevo


Dingle Pensinsula, Ireland


Sign on the Aran Islands, Ireland


And to finish, an appropriately Easter type of picture - although taken in November. Juno Beach, Normandy coast, France.



Trying to get better at this updating thing... but it's been a crazy sort of month, starting a new part-time job and a new internship as well, am hoping this is one of the last times I have to work for free... but we'll see. Other stuff happened as well, but nothing I feel like going into at the moment.

It's past midnight and while I have tomorrow off (thanks to the UK's amazing bank holidays, of which I have another 2 coming up in the next couple of weeks week, with the Royal Wedding and May Day), I feel like going to bed now, because I know that means that when I wake up, the new Game of Thrones episode will *cough* magically make its way here.

I found the books for a few pounds at a charity shop so I'm now re-reading ASOFAI, and an about halfway through Game of Thrones now, and I've realised it's actually been about 10 years since I first read the series. Tangentially related- I am now 24. Odd in a way, I don't really feel like I should be in my mid-20s but I am. But getting back to Game of Thrones... I think I am enjoying the series a lot more this time around than when I was 14. And the tv series has definitely peaked my interest, although time will tell if it will actually turn into anything productive. Hopefully will talk about it a bit on my journal though.

Fandom-wise, I also watched the new Doctor Who this morning! And found it very exciting, although thoroughly confusing in the paradox-causing time-travelling sense. And that was an evil cliff-hanger to end on. :/

Still gleefully throwing myself into the piles of good fic that have come out of this new/old fandom, and I'll have a few more recs to come in a couple days, including some more het and gen fics. :D

18 Star Trek Recs (gen, Kirk/McCoy, Chekov/Sulu and Spock/Uhura)

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing by hjpatience (gen)

As on any starship there are things the captain knows because he’s told them, things he knows despite the fact no one’s told him and things that he decidedly does not know despite being presented with evidence to the contrary.

Jim, observing his crew. I love these kind of stories.

When I Was Invincible by robanybody (gen)

"No more transporting during ion storms, all right? I'm tired of having to go through this every time. The last time, I almost got a sword through my belly because Sulu wanted to be captain, and now I'm stuck on a psychedelic Rorschach test ship with yet another version of my crew who is probably, I don't know, selling Federation secrets to Klingons or something."

Hee, Jim ends up on the original timeline Enterprise. Some things never change, not even in alternate dimensions.

Timeout by ayalesca (Kirk/McCoy)

"Whoever coded the security for every single simulation package installed some sort of legendary backdoor access thing, and you and I, Bones, are going to make it happen."

Awesome fill-in-the-canon story about how Jim cracks the code for the Kobayashi Maru test, with help from Bones. The dynamic between Kirk and McCoy is just the right mix between BFF and more-than-friends.

In a Moment Close to Now by thistlerose (Kirk/McCoy)

"Everyone's younger than me." He sagged against the back of his seat, his fingers splayed on the table as though he could push it all away, the alcohol, the thirty years of his life, the look on Jim's face. His dark blond eyebrows pinched over the bridge over his nose, making a little crease between them. In the flickering candlelight, his blue eyes were full of sympathy.

"Bones," he said in as gentle a tone as McCoy had ever heard him use, "thirty isn't old. Shit, my father was thirty-two when he died, and everyone talks about how young he was, and what a tragedy, blah blah blah."

Eeee, oh, this is a perfect introspective Bones piece. Melancholy but hopeful and just pitch perfect for the relationship between Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy.

Sealed by a Fragile Touch by vixys (Kirk/McCoy)

It’s a one to thirty ratio, he thinks numbly. One hour for us, thirty hours for Bones.

It’s been a little over twelve hours since they finished extracting the research team, and that’s a figure Jim can’t stop thinking about. The math seems to do itself in his head. Twelve hours for me; three hundred and sixty for Bones. Fifteen days. He’s been down there fifteen days.

The best kind of hurt/comfort fic, in my mind, is when the stakes are so high that you don't know if the characters are going to be all right in the end. This is that kind of story.

Family by schweinsty (gen)

James T. Kirk does not need a family. He has everything else.

The repetition and narrative structure of this story really highlight what makes James T. Kirk tick. Also, beginnings of team dynamics, ftw!

To the Enterprise: of Warp Barriers, Captains, and Other Scary Things by karanguni (gen)

Mr. Spock's eyes flick towards the blatantly huge and complicated (and exciting) and blatantly huge mathematical and engineering schematics on the console screen. Chekov can practically see the cogs in Mr. Spock's mind whirr - he is very, very fast at telemetry, which means there is probably no getting around the fact that what they have here is a plan to break the current warp speed record into many small pieces. Pavel wonders if that is the only thing that will be broken.

Made Up Physics/Math + Nerdily excited Chekov and Scotty = much, much love and lots of fun.

We Start with the Small Things by black_eyedgirl (gen)

It’s not - (this is what he tells himself when Uhura glares; when Chekov’s eyes go wide and unhappy; the rare times he almost catches the change in Spock’s expression) it’s really not the Vulcan thing. Leonard is responsible for the health and well being of one thousand crewmembers in every shape and colour in the galaxy, and they frustrate him in approximately equal measure. Hell, he’s pissed off at Jim more than with anyone else, and their illustrious Captain is the most ‘human’ one among them.

You know how, sometimes you don't realize you needed a fic to address a certain issue in a fandom, until you've read it? Yeah, this is one of those- addressing the relationship between McCoy and Spock.

Love and Mathematics by alldoubtaboutit (Sulu/Chekov, but very light - I'd almost call it genfic too)

According to the calculations of Pavel Andreievich Chekov, in the two months past, if the sum total of the digits in the stardate was divisible by seven there was to be an emotional encounter between crewmembers on the bridge.

A very in-character look at love and relationships on the Enterprise according to one Pavel Chekov. The team dynamics in this fic are also fantastic.

Space Sickness by hollycomb (Sulu/Chekov)

McCoy has one of his assistants bring up a bowl of ice cream from the cafeteria and she presents it to Chekov, complete with rainbow sprinkles. Chekov stares down at it, aghast. He'll never talk Sulu into having sex with him if the others keep treating him this way, patting him and bringing him sweets, making him feel even younger than he is. He shuts his eyes and prays that he'll even have the chance to be turned down by Sulu again, shuddering. He tells himself that Sulu is fine as he begrudgingly digs into the ice cream with his spoon, McCoy watching. Chekov wonders if McCoy has hidden medicine in it, thinking Chekov doesn't know how to swallow a pill. Maybe this is the same reason Sulu won't even let Chekov suck his cock.

"Chekov is sick, Sulu is lost on an alien planet, Kirk is a cockblock." Aha, this story definitely nails the inner anxieties of a 17 year old Starfleet ensign in love with his friend and trying not to show it. Also, Kirk has inappropriate nicknames, Spock tries to help, and everyone keeps treating Pavel Chekov like a little kid- except Sulu.

Jim Kirk School of Diplomacy by kungfunurse (called pre-slash, but I'd say it's more gen than anything)

Bardzma arched an eyebrow at him - and seriously, did every race in the Federation besides the humans use that eyebrow thing as a non-verbal 'fuck-you'? - and rejoined her grand and thirsty Holiness, probably to tell her what a dick the Enterprise's newest captain was.

Jim, out of his depth during a diplomacy meeting, trusts his instincts.

(beep) 
Or: A lifetime of problems told through Winona Kirk’s answering machine. by vivid_butterfly (gen)

Some people would like to call Winona Kirk a martyr, but martyrs don't get to  see their sacrifices pay off.

Cool story about a character we don't really see for more than two minutes at the beginning of the story.

Break by yatzee63 (Spock/Uhura)

During their final semester at Starfleet Academy, two people who have no intention of ever changing transform each other.

Long, satisfying story with great character moments and added depths for both Uhura and Spock. Highly recommended.

Chasing Jailbait by vivid_butterfly (Chekov/Sulu)

Sulu doesn’t catch all of it, but it seems like some people think that he and Chekov are an item. He calmly refutes this by shaking his head, laughing, and offering them one of his trademarked awkward smiles as he says, "No. I’m not really into chasing jailbait."

Sometimes doing the right thing hurts - and this is a realistic story where the age difference isn't glossed over, and the risk to career (and friendship) is weighed.

Lunch and Other Obscenities by rheanna27 (gen, bit of Spock/Uhura)

"That," Nyota said, swallowing, "is my mom's cooking." She held out the mostly-full container. "Want some?"

"You—you—masticator!" Gaila shrieked, backing away in revulsion.

Which was how Nyota discovered that although Orion society had absolutely no taboos about sex, it had a lot of taboos about food and eating, and she'd just broken all of them.

If you haven't read this fic yet- GO. Nyota and Gaila friendship fic.


Elephant in the room? More like a entire goddamned space station. by ethrosdemon (Kirk/McCoy)

Jim owns his issues. He has many. The top of the list would be his issues (haha) with authority. He wears that on his sleeve, and he's cool with everyone knowing about it. Not all of his issues are so transparent, and he's not exactly in love with the idea of people stumbling across them, because he knows how to manipulate others through button pushing and isn't exactly down with people doing unto him as he does unto others.


If you follow the events of the movie and think about how Jim Kirk likes to push at people it's not too hard to extrapolate to a scenario like this between Jim and Bones. Um, not normally my kink, but it really, really works here. Hot, very highly recommended, not only for the porn, but also the character insights into two characters who are, when you get down to it, rather dysfunctional just by themselves, let alone together.

PTSD as a Way of Life (gen)

In the post-Vulcan reality of the Federation, officers like Lt. Commander Sara Mendez don't get to quietly join a Federation colony and live out the sort of meaningless, self-ordered quietude she'd always planned for herself. No. Lt. Commander Sara Mendez was stop-lossed and recommissioned in a totally different field than she'd previously served.

Awesome, OFC fic about the Enterprise's psych officer. Her interactions with the rest of the crew are fantastic and really give an enjoyable look at life on a Starfleet vessel. I could honestly read stories like this all day.

So, have been poking at two stories for near on a month now, and I think they're pretty much finished. Am in need of beta, if anyone is available? *smiles winningly* It's Star Trek, and mostly gen (with various background het/slash pairings). Both under 5,000 words. One is McCoy-centric, and the other is ensemble fic.

And MOAR Star Trek Recs:

Comforting Each Other With Apples by blcwriter (Kirk/McCoy)

"Here," Jim says, swiping one of the pieces of apple through peanut butter and handing it over to Bones, who's been staring stupidly at the sandwich, still seeing nerves and blood and clamps and a Captain's spinal cord and a Romulan parasite that's going to superimpose itself on his dreams for ages. "Bones," he says again, and now he snaps out of it and takes the food. "What am I, a goddamned baby bird?" he snarls, but he still takes the fruit.

Non-verbal confirmations of love (especially in a hurt/comfort story )are such a narrative turn-ons for me, and this is a doozy of one! Nice look at the rest of the crew as well, not only Bones and Jim.

The Hounds of Morrigan by hounds_morrigan (Kirk/Spock/Uhura, one-sided Kirk/McCoy) NOTE: AU, slavery, non-con, d/s situations

She's sixteen, tall and wiry, and two hundred years ago she'd have been considered still a child in the schoolroom. She's a woman grown in these dark times. Phaser in her hand, hound at her heels and the beginnings of the reputation that will shake a galaxy swirling around her head.

"An alternate world without a federation. Nyota Uhura is a scary BAMF with an even more terrifying matched set of hunting hounds on her leash." This isn't an easy read by any stretch. In fact, I found it hard to get into it during the first couple chapters. But what really hooked me for this story were a) the versions of Uhura, Spock, and Kirk, insane and damaged as they are in the story, have enough similarities to their reboot versions that their characterizations and decisions are scarily plausible (just twisted) and b) the outsider-POV that McCoy brings to the story, and c) how it all comes together brilliantly at the end.

Universal Constants by cloudyjenn (girl!Kirk/McCoy, McCoy/Kirk)

Either way, this was exactly the sort of excitement Kirk had been hoping for. And if she was being truthful, she sort of hoped it was the time travelling thing. It'd be great fun to talk to herself. Or even better talk to an older McCoy. Maybe with an elegant touch of gray at the temples. She wondered if she could talk herself into trading off for the night. Give the older Kirk a night with a young agile Bones while she found out what age and wisdom had wrought for the old boy...

Kirk and McCoy meet Kirk and McCoy, only in one universe, Kirk is female. I'm really becoming fond of these strange time dimension stories where characters meet versions of themselves and this is a great one, especially with a recognizable Kirk characterization no matter the gender.

--------------

I also just finished the first season of the Sarah Connor Chronicles, and wow, is that some good tv. I don't think I'm fannish about it, (kinda like BSG in that way) but I'm really enjoying it, and it's gonna suck coming to the end of the second season and knowing there won't be any more episodes. :/

Thoughts this season?

I've missed a few episodes this year, but even with the episodes I have seen, I haven't found those couple of dancers I usually gravitate towards. No Joshua or Katee or Sabra and Neil or Sara or Danny or Travis this year. And eh, maybe it's also the dances this year. I don't know if I can think of one that was really memorable. :(

BUT. I think tonight I've picked who I want in the final four: Melissa, Brandon, Ade and Janine. And there were some good dances tonight- I really liked Brandon and Janine's lyrical hip-hop, and Melissa and Ade's cancer one was good, even if the judges' reactions were over the top.

Awesome SYTYCD posts I have recently come across:Mightygodking does weekly round-up reviews of the show, and recently put together a 'best of' series of posts (not just from the US SYTYCD but also the Australian and Canadian versions) and there's some insanely talented and fantastic dances/dancers in these posts. Complete with Youtube clips so you can watch them too.

| Best Hip-hop | Best Ballroom | Best Contemporary | Best 'Everything else' | Best Group Dances

- It is finally sunny and hot and properly summery today, AND I have new allergy medication that works so I don't want to shoot myself in the head when I go outside anymore. *beams* THIS IS A GOOD DAY.

- ignipes wrote commentary for her I Want to Go Home! story Faster, Higher, Stronger, and it is fabulous - fully of snarky Canadian boys and Olympic swimming! There is no bad here.

Two more fic requests filled from the time when I asked for prompts. The last four prompt ficlets will be finished by the end of this week, promise!

For catdancerz who wanted Sam and Dean in the Star Trek reboot 'verse

**
“You’re out of practice.” Dean’s grin was a mile long as his knee pressed uncomfortably against Sam’s neck.

Sam grunted and shifted his grip. He gained leverage and flipped his brother over.

“Or not,” Dean wheezed. “Get off me.”

Sam let him up. “Dean, what the hell are you doing here?” It had been four years since Sam had seen his brother, other than the occasional PADD message. Dean turning up in the middle of the night sent alarm bells ringing through Sam’s head.

“Well, I was looking for a beer, Sammy, but your mini-fridge is out of any decent kind of beverage except for this weird blue shit.”

“Romulan ale,” Sam interrupted. “My roommate’s,” he warned as Dean’s eyes brightened and flicked back to the tiny fridge.

Dean shrugged. “So, this is where you ran to,” he mused, looking around the spartan room with two beds.

“Dean, I was just enlisting in Starfleet, like any normal kid,” Sam replied, hands reflexively clenching into fists as he remembered the night he had last seen his family. “It was Dad who said if I was going, I should stay gone.”

In the silence that followed, the chime on his door rang and the light turned green. Great, Sam thought. This was just what he needed – his crazy roommate to meet his crazy brother.

“You need to remember that this is supposed to be fun,” Jim’s voice was slurred as he walked in but there didn’t seem to be any bruises on his face, or other injuries. It's an improvement from most other nights he stumbles in. “Maybe we can convince Gaila and her friends that you should give them another chance.”

“Sam,” McCoy nodded as he shouldered Jim before unceremoniously dumping him on his bed. “Sam’s visitor…”

“Leonard,” Sam replied. “This is my brother, Dean.” Beside him, he could see Dean wiping his hands on his jeans, his face impassive as he looked on. “Dean, my roommate Jim Kirk is the one on the bed, and this is his friend, Dr. Leonard McCoy.”

McCoy shook hands with Dean. “Pleasure to meet you,” he said, his eyes flicking back and forth between Sam and Dean. “Sam hadn’t mentioned he had a brother…”

Sam had told everyone at the Academy that he was an only child.

“Yeah, well, you know, family… can be a bitch,” Dean said, his laughter slightly strained.

“Hmmm,” McCoy said in a polite tone. But whether it was in agreement or disagreement, Sam couldn’t tell. “I’m off to bed,” he continued. “Clinical in the morning.” He raised his voice. “I need my beauty sleep so I don’t kill anyone tomorrow.”

“ ‘r nofun,” came Jim’s muffled response.

“Good night, Jim,” McCoy said loudly.

Jim lifted up his head. “G’night, Bones,” he said, a dopey grin on his face.

“We should go outside,” Dean said in a low voice as soon as McCoy left. “We need to talk.”

Sam looked over at Jim lying on his bed, and his own head was starting to spin from tiredness. Both him and Jim had command-track phys. training in the morning. Jim might be used to doing it hungover and exhausted but Sam was usually up and at them. Uhura said he was disgustingly perky but Sam just remembered the years of morning calisthenics with Dean and Dad.

“Just tell me what you want,” he said with preamble. “He’s not listening.”

“Def’ly not listening,” came the response from the bed. Sam met Dean’s eyes in a challenge.

Dean narrowed his own in reply. “Okay. Dad’s gone missing,” he answered, just as bluntly. “I need you to help me find him.”

**

(... okay, so there's probably more to the story, but that's all I have right now. These are supposed to be short ficlets. :)



ignipes asked for McCoy - And then they made me their chief

**

Case Log #9788SD– Or, the day he realizes that despite the space diseases and getting shot at far too often for a medical officer on a supposed diplomatic mission, Jim, there are some days when he really loves his job

“Mmmmhmmm, tell me that last part again?”

Jim lifted up his head from where it was currently buried in his hands. “And then, they made me their chief.”

“Fascinating,” Spock said, as he examined Jim closely while McCoy tapped out the notes for his log, hiding his smile. “I was not aware that Friodians practiced the art of-”

“And then what happened? They offer you food? Tribute in the shape of shiny objects? Kinky sex practices?” McCoy interrupted, calling up the special checklist he had recently put together for Jim’s frequent visits to the fifth level sickbay.

Jim looked at him.

McCoy smiled blandly back and returned to the notes on his PADD. “Considering your record on missions we’ve been on this past year-”

“Ooh, low blow, Bones,” Jim said, feigning a hurt look. “No, I ate some food that they offered me – something like oatmeal, fell asleep and… woke up like this.”

If McCoy didn’t know any better, he could’ve sworn that the small cough Spock let out was a disguised snigger. Well if anything could crack that poker face of a Vulcan…it was the present state of the Enterprise’s captain. Trained as he was in the art of living in close proximity to Jim Kirk, he was able to keep a straight face. Tough to do, but he'd had practice.

Jim looked between them. “You know, I’m detecting a certain lack of sympathy between the two of you.”

“Really,” McCoy said dryly.

“I will leave you to your treatment,” Spock said, rising from his chair. “I believe that I’m needed on the bridge. Is there any message you wish Lt. Uhura to pass on to the Florians?”

McCoy watched as Jim thought for a moment. Spock, assuming that was a negative, started to walk away. “Tell them thanks for FREAKING NOTHING,” Jim yelled at Spock’s retreating back. “AND THAT THE SPARKLES ARE HURTING MY SKIN.”

The entire medical team in the sick bay, who were currently pretending not to notice the captain’s condition, suddenly all wore identical smirks.

Spock turned.

“Actually, cancel that last,” Jim said, in a subdued voice.

Spock’s eyebrows rose slightly and he nodded.

“Stop pouting, I can fix this,” McCoy told Jim, having grabbed the scanner and currently occupied with analyzing Jim’s results.

“I am not pouting,” Jim said, with wounded dignity. “I am asserting my frust- wait, you can fix this? Preferably before we treat with the Florians again?”

“Nothing a few lunarium treatments won’t fix. And the horn can be removed with simple extraction,”
McCoy said, reaching out to feel the calcified object on Jim’s forehead. He nodded. “The sparkles on the other hand… crew morale might improve if their captain is a shining beacon-”

“You are enjoying my pain. You sick, sadistic bastard,” Jim said, but he was grinning. “And besides, crew morale is excellent on the Enterprise. My recent review showed that.”

“Only on the Enterprise would I be forced to diagnose its captain with space unicorn-itis,” McCoy grumbled, but of course, Jim could see through his bluff.

“Only on my ship. Only under my command,” Jim agreed. “Admit it, Bones,” he said, leaning forward, his eyes sparkling almost as much as his skin. “You’d be bored on any other ship.”

“Five more years-”

“Four, now.”

“Counting down the days.”

“C’mon… you’ll be legend by the time you finish your tour!”

And McCoy did have to admit that he had never seen an article on space-unicornitis.

**

(and this actually is part of a longer fic, but I'm no longer certain I'll finish that fic, so I'm posting this as it is.)


Oh- and in case anyone missed them and wants to see pretty photos from Spain - I posted some here. :)

Two writing memes snagged from people on the flist: Despite the icon, there is pretty much no sexy bits in the following excerpts. Am definitely a more gen sort of writer. *g*

List the first lines of your last twenty stories. See if you find any patterns.

“You’re out of practice.” Dean’s grin was a mile long as his knee pressed uncomfortably against Sam’s neck. (SPN/ST: reboot ficlet)

Case Log #9788SD– Or, the day he realizes that despite the space diseases and getting shot at far too often for a medical officer on a supposed diplomatic mission, Jim, there are some days when he really loves his job. (Star Trek ficlet)

He’s used to waking up like this. (Friday Night Lights ficlet)

“Is it too ironic to say Superman?” Tyra leans back in her chair, grinning at Jason. (Friday Night Lights Ficlet)

He’s never been a daredevil, never really had a death wish, not like some of his compatriots. (Harry Potter Ficlet)

“Scotty.” (High School Musical/Harry Potter/Star Trek Ficlet)

“FIFTY-FIVE!” Zeke slaps the table, and lets out a small whoop. (High School Musical Ficlet)

"So, how much are we talking?” (SPN ficlet)

He watches the shuttles take off in clouds of dust, sub-atomic engines rumbling and vibrating across the cornfields and deep into his bones. (Star Trek drabble)

“Christ…” The word escaped out of Effy’s mum’s mouth before she had finished opening the door. (Skins: Leave Out All the Rest)

It wasn’t an easy life. (SPN: What Normal Isn't)

I have found that surviving five assassination attempts - two within the last year alone - leaves one keenly attuned to anything out of the ordinary. (Yuletide - Kushiel's Dart: Black Roses and Silver Daggers)

He shuffles to the kitchen, grabbing the phone, still not fully awake. (Friday Night Lights: Beautiful Rivalry)

It was time to face two fucking, depressing facts: they were dangerously low on ammo and supplies, and their gun-runner was two weeks late. (SPN: Atheists in a Foxhole)

Normally, Dean liked working in garages. (SPN: Shape of Things to Come)

The trouble with telling someone to stay away from you, Nate mused, is that on the Upper East Side, it’s a physical impossibility. (Gossip Girl: Hands Off)

Daddy doesn’t come in to kiss her good night anymore and Mommy won’t read her bedtime stories like she used to. (SPN: Good Girl)

He’s pinned under sharp, dark eyes as the door swings shut and the lock turns, letting the tinkling music turn into a distant hum. (Gossip Girl: Take the Edge Off)

Jo pulled her bandana down and wiped the gunk off her face. (SPN: Not Like the Movies)

Dad showed up three days after Christmas, limping when he walked in and his hand wrapped in a bloody bandage. (Step Out of the Ordinary)

Ummm, patterns... short, declarative sentences? Some grammar abuse? I tend to use the past and present equally in my stories... and I don't always start with dialogue.


WIP meme: List some lines from your works-in-progress.

“So… do you want to talk about it?”

“Do I want to talk about how I was Spock for two whole days, and no one even noticed? Not particularly.”


*
See, pilots had the reputation of being reckless, adrenaline-junkies who wouldn’t know subtle if it was coming at their face faster than a Cardassian spitball. But Sulu had been the Enterprise’s helmsman for more than five years now, and he knew bridge crew dynamics were a tricky balance to keep. Even though most of the original crew had all signed back on, it wasn’t a guarantee things wouldn’t ever go south. Like they were about to if the captain didn’t make his damn decision.


*
“Come on, Merlin. Once in a lifetime opportunity,” Arthur teased. “The prince of Camelot doesn’t tell his own tales very often.”

Merlin raised his gaze, and there was a spark of some emotion that Arthur hadn’t seen he had seen before. Bitterness. “What, do you want to tell a tale of some great exploit? Like we had? Go ahead.”

*

He wanted to speak a defiant line, to spit in her face in the few remaining moments of his life, but his mouth was dry and the dominant thought running through his mind was ‘I want to live.’ He wouldn’t beg though. He clapped his lips together and attempted to steady his breathing. He would die with a prince’s dignity. With a king’s courage, like his father. He shook his head.

“No,” she answered. A slow smile spread across Nimueh's face, as if she were pleased with his answer. She answered the Mercian captain. “No, I have other plans for Arthur.” Her hand, stained with his father’s blood, reached out and traced across his cheekbones and jaw.


*
“You know we’re going to get out of this. All of us.”

And as much as she might never admit it out loud, the tightly focused anger radiating from his blue eyes was another talisman she drew on.


*
Hey there Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. It’s been a long, steamy summer here in the city, both on the streets and inside the cool, air-conditioned penthouses of Manhattan’s elite. Who can forget the news that H arrived home from London to find her boyfriend and mother doing lines on her vanity table? Or that D came home from Yale with bf in tow… that argument won’t be forgotten by anyone within ten blocks of -------. Or my personal favorite, that B and C were cheating on each other after only a week of officially being a couple- C with one of stepmother’s decorating interns and B being slightly classier as she bagged a minor European royal in the jump-seat of C’s father’s private jet.

But sadly, every summer must end, and as the dreaded Labor Day approaches, the UES is celebrating the only way they know how… by heading out to the Hamptons for one last weekend.

Who’s hosting this year’s biggest and most exclusive bash? According to my inside sources, the crown goes to J and his sister N. That’s right, St. Cecilia’s wins this year- better luck next time, Unity boys.

With golden boy J going into senior year, insiders are claiming this will be a party to remember. And rumor has it that his dalliance with Constance Billiard’s M was just that, a rumor. Start your engines ladies- J’s always been the slippery kind, you better act fast if you want to catch him.

Party hard, girls and boys. After the weekend the rest of us will be heading back to Manhattan and civilization, but we have a feeling you won’t find this kind of fun back at Catholic boarding school…

xoxo
Gossip Girl

*

In the dim light he could spot movement among the bushes. About twenty yards from the cabin, a dark shape burst from the woods, crouched over, hands held out in front, as if reaching for sanctuary. A second figure limped along after, garbled sounds erupting from its mouth in a steady stream of mushed syllables and moans.

“What are they?” Sam asked, horrified.

“Charlie’s family,” Peter answered.

“Those… those aren’t humans,” Dean said, finally tearing his eyes away from the shambling creatures.

Peter slammed the door shut. “They were once,” he said. “Here, help me hold it against them. And check the windows.”

*

Dearborn, Washington State

[It’s serenely peaceful in this remote area, the torn-up road twisting and turning in the mountain valleys before I get to my destination. The only building within 5o miles is a log cabin, completely self-sufficient and modernized with the latest tech equipment, including a satellite monitoring system that detects for the undead. Twenty men have gathered here this weekend, veterans who served in a unit known for its military service even before the first zack attack. First Recon suffered over 80% casualties during five years of fighting, and yet it was consistently one of the most requested units to serve in during the war.]

Former Sergeant Josh Ray Persons is sitting on the deck, surrounded by a group of younger guys, and he’s smoking and gesturing wildly with his hands. A small, wiry man, his eyes light up and he takes on a lecturing tone as I approach.

You know, we picked up the name ‘First Suicide Battalion’ long before any Zacks showed up. It was when I was first in the Marines, during OIF when we bumped our way across Iraq in open Humvees. Retarded to the thousandth degree, but I tell you, those were the fuckin’ days, man. At least then we knew what kind of fucking idiots we were dealing with. Saddam fuckin’ Hussein, misguided youth with guns, fundamental Islamic terrorists who wanted to blow America off the face of the map… almost makes me nostalgic. Give me the whole clash of the civilizations any day.

Hmmm, going through these makes me want to finish at least one of them this summer. *makes note to do so* Not tonight though. Too hot, and no air conditioning to be had.

*flops*

So, there's been some controversy in the swimming world about the new sooper-duper hi-tech swimsuits. And it's been all very serious and lots of people upset about how it's changing the sport, and then, you have this profound statement:

"I wish it went back to the old school, like banana hammocks. Jammers, I mean, I'm cool with that."
- Ryan Lochte

(Reuters: A "banana hammock" is a slang term for tight-fitting men's swimwear or underwear.)

I think we could all be cool with that, yes?





The bling! *dies*

Earlier, Lochte had described his grillz. They were different from the ones he wore on the awards stand at this meet two years ago. “This time,” he said, “the diamonds are bigger so I can shine a little more.”

*facepalm*


But he has a point about going back to the banana hammocks.

ETA: Ryan Lochte, fashion designer?

Also from the ny times article: comments on the Phelps/Lochte romance relationship.





Do you realize that at this time last year, it was during the Olympics? So, in nostalgia, I present a couple photos of swimming girls and boys (and a couple of divers) - oh, and one photo might not be work-safe


Hello Michael Phelps


Ricky Berens learnt the hard way that these new swimsuits might not be the best idea...


when his swimsuit split in the middle of a dive. O.O


Canada's golden girl at the moment - Annamay Pierse


Annamay's reaction after setting a world record. Hee.


Who just beat Michael Phelps? This guy did (albeit, in one of the new controversial suits)


Italian swimmer Federica Pelligrini's awesome tattoo.


randomeliza's fav Australian swimmer Eamonn Sullivan


And his long, long arms


Show some love for the divers


Who are amazing athletes, and have fantastic bodies


And very white teeth


How did this photo get in here? MMmmm, kayaker Adam Van Koeverden.

You know what kind of question I always hated on university and scholarship applications?

The role model question: "Who is your role model and why does he/she inspire you?"

You know why I hated it? Because while I admire many people, maybe I wanted to look up to someone who was like me. Maybe I wanted to write about someone who had a similar experience to me. I'm contrary like that. But you know what? I couldn't. Because I'm invisible.

That's right. I'm fucking invisible. A Disabled girl/woman is invisible in society, in books, in movies, films and in pop culture in general, except in the context of her tragically wasted life. If she does exist, she's one of these things: She's bitter. She's the subject of pity. She's sarcastic and sardonic, saying that life isn't worth living. She's never has a boyfriend (except if she's dying beautifully from a tragic wasting disease). She wants so badly to walk again/be cured. Or maybe she's quirky, always happy and telling her self-centred friends that life isn't so bad (the subconscious message being that hey, they could have her life, and who would want to be disabled?)

This is from the the recent Stargate Universe casting debacle:

[ELEANOR PERRY] (35-40) and quite attractive. A brilliant scientist who happens to be a quadriplegic. Affected since childhood, her disability has rendered her body physically useless. However, after being brought on board the Destiny as the only person who may be able to save the ship and her crew from certain annihilation, she is given temporary powers that enable her to walk again and to finally experience intimacy.sptv050769..Strong guest lead. NAMES PREFERRED. ACTRESS MUST BE PHYSICALLY THIN. (THINK CALISTA FLOCKHART).

SO MUCH FAIL, I don't even know where to start. Not only with the ableism but also the glbt issues. /o\ I really prefer this Feministe version:

[ELEANOR PERRY] (35-40) and quite sexy. A brilliant quadriplegic scientist, who has used a wheelchair since childhood. She needs help with basic cleanliness and dressing tasks. Her scientific ability makes her the only person who may be able to save the ship and her crew from certain annihilation. She’s an excellent flirt, and will have an affair with at least one crew member during her tenure on the show. sptv050769..Strong guest lead. NAMES PREFERRED. ACTRESS MUST BE A WHEELCHAIR USER.

That would be awesome. I haven't ever watched any of the Stargate franchise, but I would watch for that character. Because we are like that sparkly unicorn, us disabled chicks. You will see us once in a blue moon, if ever.

Or you know what I'd love to see? Maybe even *GASP* a disabled girl who ISN'T in a chair, but whose disability still strongly visible and marks her as disabled. (I mean, I love that there's some strong deaf and blind female characters out there, but it still plays into the idea that to be in front of the camera you can't LOOK defective, and being in a wheelchair/blind/deaf can sometimes help that deception, so you don't look disabled at all.

[FIONA DALEY] (24-30) and quite attractive. A recent graduate from an Ivy League law school, Fiona has [cerebral palsy/spina bifada/double leg amputation/disability] but has never let her disability get in the way . Quite ruthless, she may have met her match when she joins [FIRM] and discoveries that their biggest clients are actually a pack of werewolves. Assigned to a recent murder case, Fiona will discover strong connection with the man she'll be defending AARON SOL, son of the current alpha and next in line to lead the pack. ACTRESS MUST HAVE VISIBLE PHYSICAL DISABILITY. PLEASE SUBMIT ALL ETHNICITIES

Another huge pet peeve of mine:
We can have teenage or younger guys who are disabled: ie. Macaulay Culkin's character in Saved!, Jason Street in Friday Night Lights, the brother from Joan of Arcadia, Jimmy in Degrassi: The Next Generation, the son in Breaking Bad (who actually is the one example who actually has a disability, cerebral palsy), that new kid from Glee in a wheelchair...

But when it come to girls/younger women with disabilities?

*crickets*

You know what would be great (but I'm not holding my breath, since I'd be dead by now) if a casting notice like this would float past one of the Greek writer's desk: (as an example)

[JESSICA FRANCIS] (18-24) Pretty, bubbly Tri-Delt sorority girl who uses crutches to walk. Assigned to be Rusty's organic chem partner, they enter into a partnership in a bid to try and get their chem grades raised by any means possible, otherwise they will both be kicked out of polymer science. Along the way, they bond over the challenges of defying stereotypes in the Greek system. ACTRESS MUST HAVE VISIBLE PHYSICAL DISABILITY. PLEASE SUBMIT ALL ETHNICITIES

Would that be so fucking hard to do?

(Ahhh, that feels good to get out. Although I haven't even covered half the problems with disability perceptions in the media, unfortunately...)

I'm in the middle of a hurricane right now. And I have my window wide open to cool down my room because damn, it's been ridiculously hot and muggy for the past two weeks. *fans self*

Yep, Hurricane Bill is passing by my home before heading on to Newfoundland tomorrow. Honestly hasn't been that bad though- the trees are whipping around and the power has flickered a couple of times but the rain has pretty much died down and we're now on tropical storm watch rather than a warning. I've seen worse from just normal summer storms. Ooh, I bet the surf will be awesome tomorrow on the North Shore. Too bad my job's in town this year 'cause that would've been some spectacular views. Love the storm surf.

-- umm okay, that was a big gust. Maybe I should close my window.

I leave for the UK in less than a month! I have so much to do before then! *spazzes* So, in response" I've stepped up my tv watching. Procrastination for the win!*

Mah tv shows, let me show you:

1. Chuck - Chuck is, to paraphrase one of the show's catchwords - AWESOME. And adorkable and cheerful and ridiculous amounts of fun and when I was having one of those 'I hate everyone' days earlier in the week, this show pulled me out of it. Josh Schwartz, whatever his other sins may be, is the master of snarky pop culture references and great musical choices. I just finished season two and am so happy that it will be back next year, even in a shortened season.

2. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - ugh, such good tv. I cannot believe they canceled it. I am going to have to picspam later with its pretty, pretty cast and ramble about time travel paradoxes and smart plots.

3. True Blood - Haha, it's a love-hate relationship that I have with True Bloo. Truth be told, I don't think it's that great a show, writing-wise. And Sookie and Bill are possibly the most boring, unappealing leads I've ever seen in a tv show. I actively root for the bad guys when they're on screen. But what it does have going for it is an intriguing premise that taps into the zeitgeist of the current era, and a fantastic supporting cast of characters and actors who can play off of each other.

4. Leverage - Okay, see the comments about Chuck. Yeah, same with Leverage. It is my happy place in tv. Ridiculous, cheesy plots notwithstanding (and flabbier writing this season, hmmmph), it's rather good at being escapist tv. Hardison = ♥ Parker = ♥ Elliot = ♥ Parker/Elliot/Hardison = ♥ And Sophie and Nate are okay too. ;)

5. So You Think You Can Dance Canada - And just when you thought it was over until next summer... a new Canadian season comes along! Tonight they're picking the top 20. Exciting!

*(In other great procrastination news I've also managed to read almost 30 novels this summer and get out to the beach every single weekend since the beginning of July. \o/)

Lifted directly from ignipes

Give me topics for that Top Five meme-thing where you tell me to list my Top Five Fandom Things, any fannish topic, favorites or non-favorites or whatever, I don't know how it's worded but you know what I mean:

Give me topics for Top Five lists and I will list them.

I haven't talked about it much lately but I am very gleeful that Generation Kill is still alive and kicking as a fandom. It's been playing on HBO Canada lately and I have rediscovered my love through big, shiny HD prettiness. I have a post somewhere on the net for *cough* and every couple of days there's new people who find it and tell me they're trying out the series, which makes me very happy indeed. :D

I have a feeling that a lot of it has to do with Alexander Skarsgard and how he suddenly seems to have been chosen as the next "it boy" in fandom. Which, by the way: good choice, fandom! And trust me when I say that while Eric is proving to be one of the best things about True Blood, he doesn't hold a candle to Brad Colbert or the rest of Recon in Generation Kill.

The main community generation_kill has been hosting a porn skirmish this summer, and the community has been hopping with fic entries and I really need to find time to sit down and read through some of them. I wanted to contribute too but the whole quasi-RPS stuff weirdness is still around for me. *hands* I don't know. I also see there is some minor character genfic which is at the top of my list to read next. I shall post recs soon!

In the meantime have a picspam and quote post of one of my favourite minor characters in Generation Kill: Cpl Walt Hasser

The real guy he's based on seems like a decent sort too:

Walter Hasser, who shot the man in the blue car, is one of the most
well-liked Marines in the platoon. He’s twenty-three years old, six feet two
inches tall and knows the lyrics to just about every hit country song
recorded between 1960 and 1974.Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash are
his heroes. He has a beautiful country singing voice, and in his case Colbert
makes a special exemption to his “no country music” rule. Following
the ZSU AAA gun attack south of Al Hayy during which Hasser had
climbed into the turret under fire and had taken out the enemy gun position,
the team had seized the bridge north of the town to the accompaniment
of his singing Glen Campbell’s “Rhinestone Cowboy.”

Raised in a rented farmhouse in Louden County, Virginia, by a single
mom who, he says, “didn’t have no college,” Hasser grew up working on
farms and hunting. He seems like your basic country good old boy, but
what he enjoys most about the Marine Corps is both the brotherhood and
the diversity. “Back home you pal around with your own kind,” he says.
“I never thought my best friends would be Mexicans. Here, we’re brothers,
and we all look out for each other. That’s the best part of being in a war.
We all get to be together.”

Earlier in the morning, when everyone had been complaining about the
sorry state of MREs, Hasser had explained his basic philosophy of life.

“Every chance you have, you should try to hook people up. People in the
MRE factory don’t understand that. Hell, if I worked there I’d be sneaking
in extra pound cakes, jalapeño cheese packs,Tootsie Rolls.You gotta throw
things to people when you can.”

Now, driving out of Al Muwaffaqiyah, with the sound of that dying
man’s gasping still fresh in everyone’s mind, Hasser stares out the window
into a blazing sunset. The SAW is loose on his lap. His wrists are draped
across the top of the weapon, but his fingers aren’t touching it, almost like
he’s ignoring it.

“How are you doing?” I ask him.

“Just taking it all in,” he says.

The objective tonight on April 2 is to reach the outskirts of Al Kut,
the Marine Corps’ goal in central Iraq. It’s about thirty kilometers north
of Al Muwaffaqiyah. Before the Marines set out from Al Muwaffaqiyah,
several old men on the road stopped Second Platoon, offering detailed information
about ambushes ahead. Fick, Meesh and I talked to them for several
minutes. One of the old men caught my eye. He pointed up the road
and dragged his finger across his neck, making a throat-slashing gesture
to indicate danger ahead.

Now, as we drive up the route in convoy with the battalion, Colbert
picks up reports of sporadic gunfire from the radio. “We’re expecting
enemy contact at the intersection two clicks up the road,” he says. “Person,
get your NVGs out. This could go past dark.”

“One thing about the Marines,” Person says.“We always know how to
wrap up a day.”

“Small-arms fire to the rear,” Colbert says.

“Yeah. Game on!” Trombley says excitedly from the turret. It’s his
first time on the Mark-19, and he’s eager for the chance to blow stuff up
with it.

“Stay frosty,Walt,” Colbert says.

“Yeah,” Hasser says.

I look over at him next to me. He’s still not touching the SAW. He’s just
listlessly staring out the window. I’m glad of his humanity. The fact that
he’s clearly so broken up by his shooting of that civilian just confirms
what a decent guy he is. But I wish he wasn’t showing it right now.



In other, er... entertainment media based on the Iraq War, I saw The Hurt Locker last night with a friend.

Definitely one of the best movies I've seen this summer. I think it worked because it kept defying your expectations in guessing how it would play out. I think it's hard to keep up a note of dread and tension throughout a whole movie, but that's pretty much how it happened here. You thought you knew where they were going with it (because we've all seen that scene from that war movie before...) and then they start there and then go off in a new direction and it never feels like a cop out, probably because that's how things tend to go in RL.

The characters defy the usual war movie conventions as well (and here's where I found myself flashing back to Generation Kill) in that they're real, complicated people presented without the hero varnish, and their actions and emotions sometimes remain opaque to the audience. For example: James is an asshole, there's no denying that. But he also saves a lot of lives. But he does so partly because he's an adrenaline junkie and usually by putting his team's lives in danger. But he clearly thinks the work he does is important, and thinks about the impact it has on lives around him, see: the soccer boy. And ultimately - is he doing it more for the adrenaline rush it gives him? And if he is, is that wrong, if he's saving lives in the process?

Mmmm, meaty character interaction! I also loved his exchanges with Sanford, especially in what tended to remain unsaid between them.

And on a shallow note: holy hell was it slashy. The undertones in the fight between Sanford and James in the middle of the movie... *whistles* Their relationship is complex and very fucked up in the movie, and I do wonder how it could be played out in fic.

And ignoring all the stuff I said above: It works very well as an action/suspense movie, way better than most Hollywood Blockbusters. I don't think I've heard such nervous laughter and sharp winces when the tension ratchets up in a movie theatre for a long time.

Quick Picspam of the trailer 'cause I can:


The bomb defusing, adrenaline junkie himself, James






Disarming the massive car bomb outside the UN headquarters


The cautious, CIA-trained Sanborn, who doesn't know if he wants to kiss or punch James half the time.


And Specialist Eldridge, who just wants to get through this tour of duty without his commanding officer getting him killed. *hugs him*

"I can't do this alone."
"Yes, you can."
"Yeah, well... I don't want to."




Dear SPN: If we're doin' it apocalyptic style, a a reformed nun turned gunrunner would be an awesome character to have. Just sayin'.

love,
me


(ten minutes! \o/)

1. Non-spoilery Supernatural premiere reaction: Cool! Am looking forward to this season and the apocalypse. I love how nasty the angels were, and am looking forward to seeing Lucifer walk the earth. And pshaw, anyone who thinks things are going to stay the way they are between Sam and Dean has never seen this show before :P

Non-spoilery Leverage summer finale reaction: Fun! Alec/Eliot/Parker remain OT3, and I think it's gonna get interesting when things return in the winter... especially with the new addition.

2. Merlin returns this week! Trailer One | Trailer Two. I'm also looking forward to being able to legally watch it.

3. MTV to make a US version of Skins? Interesting... not sure how I feel about that. Could be awesome if they stay true to the original series, and let the sex, drugs and reckless behavior stay in without moralizing or cleaning it up. And they also need to keep the fantastic opening credits style. And in case anyone is interested: I made icons of the season three creditshere.

4. Last weekend I made a short Sarah Connor Chronicles vidlet as a part of a Labour Day weekend challenge thing. The prompt was "Sarah, resistance leader"



5. True Blood tonight! My wishes: less orgies, Maryanne, Sookie, Bill. More Eric, Lafayette, Jessica, Hoyt, Sam. Please end with a bang, none of the good characters dead and intriguing teaser for season three!

Moving from Canada to the UK for grad school. :D

Updates when I have internet again (likely sooner rather than later)

So... looking at my last post, you might assume that the UK doesn't have internet. Well, two months later I am here to dispel that myth. Dunno why I haven't really been posting - oh, no wait. I remember - something to do with grad school and having a completely awesome time here in this tiny Scottish town. Am enjoying myself quite a bit, and will have more of a personal update in a few days, with pictures.

But before that, well... my classes are pretty much over, and papers have been written and passed in (erm, how good they were is another question) - and I'm itching to talk about fandom again! Also, need to write my Yuletide letter, as I haven't done that yet, oops. Dear Yuletide person - it is coming! I promise - but please feel free to write whatever and I'm sure I'll love it.

But. I am also tired. And probably coming down with another cold and of need of sleep. So. Update tomorrow. In the meantime though -

HAI GUYS!

*waves*

And so late on Christmas Day, I am in a hotel in Prague on a foggy computer where I can barely see the screen, trying to load Yuletide, which is not working at the moment. :/ But! I have a story, and it's from Juliet Marillier's Sevenwaters Trilogy and I'm very excited to read it when I can finally get to it! So, mystery yuletide writer, thank you so much for writing this story for me, and I promise I will comment when I get the chance- but if it doesn't load tonight, it might be a few days before i get to it.

Okay, just got ambushed by a bunch of drunk Aussies that I'm on tour with, heh. Okay so ten minutes later, finishing this entry... I'm on a eastern european tour thing instead of going home for christmas and it's been pretty good so far... but it is feeling a little weird tonight.

*sigh*

but I'll adjust... and I do hope all of you are having a good Christmas with family or friends or are enjoying the time alone... or if you don't celebrate, at least enjoying watching the rest of us freak out about it. ;)

Promise to be better with LJ in the New Year and catch up with all of you again! *hugs*

Happy New Year! I hope 2010 is treating everyone well!

My goal at the moment - be better organized for life in general and that includes finding time to post on LJ again. :)

So far that resolution... not going so well. Ahhh, I have about a million things to do at the moment, not to mention studying for exams (first one on Monday) and organizing and contacting people for a research trip for my thesis... but tonight I felt the need to clean out my Firefox tabs, of which there were about 120, forcing my computer to run veeerrry sloooowly. So here, have a few of the eclectic bunch of links and recs that I have collected over the last three months. :)

Resource Rec:

Male Youth Prostitution (Part One)(Part Two)

For anyone wanting to do research for hooker/rentboy fic. Fantastic (if a bit hard on the eyes because of the background) collection of links discussing a wide range of topics relating to male prostitution, including many studies and statistics from around the world as well as personal stories and how male prostitutes are seen in media and popular culture. Some incredibly (and sometimes heartbreaking) reads found there.

Fic Recs:

A Tale That Can't Be Told by waldorph Glee, Rachel/Puck, other pairings

…Yeah. So then Quinn moved in with Rachel, which saved her relationship with Finn, who is seriously still so stupid, and they were all this weird…weird family.

Weird for Ohio, more fitted for like, the East coast or California—you know, seriously liberal places where the queers live and the feminists are like, trying to redefine the family unit and Jesus Christ he has got to stop reading shit Rachel leaves lying around.

Pitch-perfect Puck voice, (aka not PC at all) about his relationship with Rachel through the years. The other Glee characters sound exactly like they do on tv too. *glee!*

Escapology by pogrebin Leverage, Parker/Eliot/Hardison

They're in it for the long con

Thoughtful, lyrical piece on why Parker/Hardison/Eliot works so well.

Illicit Exploits of an LA Rentboy by dancinbutterfly Entourage, Vince/Eric, Vince/others

I realize that I forgot to mention before that I fuck people for money. I like it. And more importantly, I'm good at it.

I don't even watch Entourage! And yet this came across my radar on crack_van in December and I got sucked in. Written in the style of "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" and without the usual hookerfic cliches, this isn't an easy ride for the characters but it's an engrossing one.

Traffic Lights Turning Yellow by lingeringday Gossip Girl, Blair/Chuck/Nate

When Blair thinks about it, everything that ever went wrong in her life could be laid at Serena’s feet in the end. Good S, Bad S, it didn’t matter. The girl was a force of chaos in Blair’s life, and it was her fault that Blair was in this godforsaken hotel room in the middle of god knows where with two snoring boys on either side of her.

Aaah, good Chuck/Blair/Nate is ridiculously hard to find. *mourns the lack of non-judging breakfast club in canon* This is good stuff, though.

MacDonald Hall is Fabulous by Nimori

On Tuesday morning, the school woke to find someone had dressed the statue of Sir John A. Macdonald in leather chaps and a ball gag.

"Mildred," said Mr. Sturgeon, as he peered out his window at the crowd gathering around the statue. "The Hall has gone crazy."

"I think it's wonderful to see them taking action."

"Action I would condone, even encourage. Defacing school property I will not."

"They're making a statement, William."

"Normal schools hold assemblies on tolerance. My school petitions the board to change our motto to In excellentia fabulous."

OMG, laugh-out-loud hilarious but still touching fic about MacDonald Hall trying to get Bruno and Boots together. And as typical in MacDonald Hall, things are taken over-the-top but in the best way. :D Even if you haven't read the series, (and why haven't you- only some of the best YA Can-Lit) this is an adorable story that will leave you smiling.

Vid Recs:

DLZ by bop_radar Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Ensemble vid

Congratulations on the mess you made of things;
On trying to reconstruct the air and all that brings.
And oxidation is the compromise you own
But this is beginning to feel like the dog wants her bones
saved

For me, this was a captures summary of the show. Chockfull of nuances and imagery that needs more than one viewing. I get something different out of it each time I rewatch.

Capital G by bop_radar True Blood, Eric character vid, light Eric/Godric but can be seen as non-shippy too

What I got out of watching this vid: Vampires, and particularly Eric, are scary, violent, impossibly cool BAMFs that you do not want to cross. As vampires should be. *nods* (Oh, and Godric is the only one who has any degree influence on Eric's behavior, so watch out!)

All is Filled With Love by obsessive24 True Blood, Godric

Beautiful, gorgeously-crafted vid that is basically Godric's suicide note and his message to Eric about why he plans to face the sun. obsessive24 does a fantastic job conveying Godric's weariness and disillusion with life.